He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
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I know my wife loves me. I know there are few people on the earth as invested in me as she is. I also know I drive her crazy. Lets break this down for a second. She fell in love with me when we were kids, and put up with me growing up. Let me tell you this little bouncing ball of idiotic fury had growing up to do. She lived through me being dumb enough to loose my temper daily, she survived me nearly dying in a hospital bead hundreds of miles from she and my daughter.

 

She truly is the best thing that I have ever been a part of.

 

I am saying all of this not because Valentines day passed and I forgot the flowers to go with the chocolate. (Sorry love.) I am saying this because damn it. I want more for her. I am hungry on a daily basis to create a life that is worthy of the person she sees me as. There is absolutely no greater boost to your self worth than considering the point of view of your loved ones. I mean real loved ones if you had a mother like mine find the family you built, and not the one that is your Albatross. Its not just that you owe them a better life. Its a lot more about understanding that they see you as someone who deserves a better life. Remembering that and allowing you yourself to understand what that actually means is worth a thousand good opportunities.

A bit of homework for myself. Admit it. My own life is worth busting ass for. My kids life are worth it. What I want to do, Inheritance, Damage, Ballad of Nod all of these things are not only worth it to me, but someone out there is ready to hear what I have to say. Somewhere there is a kid looking for something they don't even know exists. Like when I first picked up James O Barr's the Crow, TMNT, McFarlane's Spiderman. Those things expanded my ability to see the world and myself.

Somewhere there's a lost kid, he's broken inside and doesn't know it. His family is very different and he cant see the world right. He thinks its because of him, and has no idea there are so many of us out here that have been through it. Some where there is a girl who has a pain in her stomach she will find out is a sickness that she has to summon strength to fight for. On a shelf somewhere there's a message waiting for them, its waiting for the right time for them to hear it.

You are not a person who needs to be punished for who you are. You are a person worth fighting for.

Someone is ready to hear it, and I need to understand I deserve getting to say it.

 

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