Ooooh frequent topic right? I'm exploring today a bit about story telling and a technique I'm not a massive fan of, but it got me. Movies, books, stories they come in many shapes and sizes. Very often I watch a movie with a late in the end moment that makes no sense, and it kills the movie for me, breaks my ability to believe it. The more epic on purpose the more it tends to happen. There are so many committee made movies/serialisation that the visions don't always get through. Too many hands in the cookie jar. The effect has the really lazy turn moments in the third act that is supposed to catch you off guard, but in all honesty are ridiculous.

An example you say? Did it make sense to have Aliens in Indiana Jones? What about the end of Man of Steel, how is Zod and Superman treating ya?

Instead of reaping the whirlwind on all of the misses I want to talk about a time when it went well for a minute. Have you seen Creed? If not do me a favor and go watch the movie, even if you're not into boxing give it a chance, the last bit of it  and I truly mean the last bit is worth watching the whole movie for..

I'll wait.....

So upon your return I see that you watched a movie about a young man all angsty cause his dad isn't around. Sound's like a lot of other movies, in fact I assume you even thought that chip on his shoulder was unnecessary and a bit self-absorbed right? My question though is did you catch it? Did you see what the movie was about in one sentence dropped in the in ring interview at the end? I had heard he said he had to prove he wasn't an accident but that was only a part of it. What hit me, the turn that cracked me up was  when the interviewer asked him what he would say to his father if he could say anything and speak to him right now..."He didn't leave me on purpose...."

If you have never grieved you probably missed it, if you have never been angry because someone you loved was selfish enough to go and die leaving you behind in a world that didn't want you, you probably didn't get it. If you were taught to cope with life and never say the death of your loved on as selfish you may have missed it. For me though, I felt like I had been punched in the bread basket.

I lost my mother in 2009, my father in 2010, and I am still grieving in some ways. Its been a long road and for most of it I have been mad at both of them for leaving . For dying when my kids needed grandparents, for having the kind of lives that destroyed them and forced me to watch, and for leaving a tide of broken dreams and decisions behind them that have demolished my siblings and I for the last two decades.

But this got me. I'm sitting here tearing up because when I heard it I wasn't ready for the concept, or more to the point maybe I was. I was ready to hear the words "he didn't leave on purpose." It wasn't his idea, he would have stayed if he could. I had never considered for a second dad had not left of his own volition. In fact I blamed him for giving up and not fighting long enough to meet my son. I blamed him for not sticking around to tell stories to Camille. Instead I now get the peace of considering "He didn't leave me on purpose."

So Camille and I talked about this, she had been very concerned the other night, she was missing her loving mother who was at work, and very much missing her Grandpa Jim. She and James have been asking me to tell her stories of his adventures, or misadventures as it were. Tonight though there was little solace, she felt lonely from Mom working and it welled up into tears. So we talked about it, we talked about that he didn't leave on purpose, that he had to, and that now she gets to be the only girl in the world with such a tough Guardian angel. Each of us grows up, our kids get older become who they are meant to be, eventually our story ends and others go on. It is the way of all things, and there is a peace to that concept. It doesn't come until your ready though. Lost love ones eventually turn into guardian angels, but only once your ready to let them go.

This bit of story telling in one sentence turned the Obsessed and driven Apollo from the absentee father into the guardian angel. I am very impressed, I didn't think it was possible to make me care so much about a character from so long ago. It took my grief and let it move through the frigid waters I tend to keep it in, unfreezing the pain and the grief a little bit more. I don't get sucker punched often by a turn that late in a story, I am grateful it snuck in and got me.

Dad didn't leave us on purpose, but he had to go none the less.

Now my kids have the Baddest guardian Angel up there.



Listening to the thunder move through the valley,

Angry but healing.