Do you appreciate your life? This morning when you woke up was the first thing on your mind how amazing it is to be alive?

Why not?

We all forget what it means to be alive, and caressed by the wold. Our fights drag us into messes and we become survivalists bent on scraping a meager existence from the wastelands around us…

Does it have to be that way? Can we remember that there are people bathed in horror surpassing our own? Does it really matter so much that when we didn’t get that material item we craved so much that our life was in shambles?

My wife is amazing, and in all honesty I am a fool because there are moments that I forget it. There are moments when I do not tell her how grateful I am that she is in my life, and that she breathes music into my existence. My children who need me to grow and become who they will be are not burdens. They are gifts from life that can not be duplicated or replaced, and in all honesty there are moments I forget that in my quest to put food on the table and maintain sanity…. but that is an excuse.

The truth is that I am as selfish as I was always scared to be. As selfish as the people I was so loathing to become like. I want quiet time, I want a new car I want more comics etc… we all have our vices. I am not talking about the fact that we all need to splurge on ourselves when its important to stay sane. I am talking about that feeling when we convince ourselves that its really important that we win a fight, that should never have happened, or worse when we act like helping our child through their homework is a penance. I am guilty. My wife and kids are everything I didn’t think I deserve to dream about. They are my adventure and my accomplishments rolled into one love returning blossoming stack. I am guilty because there are moments I convince myself I do not care.

In the past I realized I need to be a team with my wife, that was a shock to me actually. Lately I have been realizing I take them for granted, and they deserve a better attitude. If I am interrupted I am going to look for ways to enjoy it instead of begrudgingly drag myself away from the art pad. I am going to tickle fight more, and make sure that if I get hit by a bus on the way home that they know, there is nothing else in the world I wanted more than to be with them. No child or spouse deserves to feel like a third wheel. I am guilty of committing my parents sins, may I live to repair it.

 

The Angry Fool