Some times there’s just no reasoning with crazy. Look the boys don’t really try that hard but I have been there.

Years ago I was with my brother Steve and some friends in a buddy’s garage. We were getting our nerd on and indulging in Palladium Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, really one of the greatest role playing settings. Especially with our brand of house mods. I was GMing and setting the mood when this little pick up slowly cruised by. As it did my brother shook his head in disappointment, he had always had a sixth sense for trouble that was more advanced then my own.

“It’s Dick, he’s been going at it with Cotter and his dad.” Now obviously his name wasn’t Dick, but for today’s purposes calling him Dick will suffice. Steve went on to explain that Dick was angry at Cotters dad and kept trying to get him to fight. Yes this was as dumb ass ignorant as it sounds, that kid could not have been older than 17. I think I was 19.

So the mini truck comes back and this time just flat out stops in front of the house. My brother basically knowing what was coming and deciding to get it over with yelled out.

“What do you want Dick?” Dick and a friend got out of the truck. Now let me paint a picture for you. There was perhaps 6 or 7 of us in the garage and 2 of them. Now honestly we were nerds and young. Most of the kids were not scrappers by any means, at least not then. Then there was Steve and I. That’s just not how we were raised despite my misgivings about it My dad raised us as thugs. We were nerds but that was by choice, dad raised us to break knees.

Dick wandered into the open garage yelling for Cotter’s dad to come out. Honestly I tried for 20 minutes or more to calm that kid down. I really hate fighting for foolish reasons, and lets be honest most reasons are foolish. Dick kept shouting and I finally realized this was going to end badly. Without thinking about it I set the books on my lap down, which the others took as a sign to back away because my brother and I were going to tear the two apart… That was completely not my intention but that’s how they saw it.

Dick was ridiculous, he was unable to understand Cotter’s dad was not there and no matter what I tried wouldn’t calm. I later found out from his sister was out of his mind on meth… Lovely drug….. Eventually Dick decided to do something stupid, he put his hands on my brother.

My brother was sitting with his hands in a recycling bin when Dick hit him, out came an empty wine bottle that despite being clunked into Dick’s head didn’t break. Neither did Dick. In fact he didn’t feel it and got all kinds of crazy. In the melee his friend jumped in at Steve and Dick turned around and started swinging like an orangutan on pcp. I didn’t see it but Steve boxed the other kid into a submission via broken nose.

Dick on the other hand got choke slammed into the hood of Cotter’s mom’s car.

To be clear I hate fighting, I seem to get myself into dumb situations but, I talk my way out of most of them. That day I had no damned alternative. I had tried to talk him down, reason  with him, persuade him. Sometimes the only thing crazy understands is being knocked unconscious.

When the kid came to I very clearly explained it was time to leave, and that he should not return. He left screaming that he had not been down, that he wasn’t a punk etc. Fill in what ever douche bag thing a typical Dick would say. Since Steve was on probation from another incident a few months before we called the local P.D. and explained we had been assaulted. Local P.D. had issues with my dad, and honestly that had always carried over to Steve and I. Luckily a neighbor volunteered that he had seen it all, and that we were always good boys when we were at Cotters.

Now this is the part of the story that I ask you a question. If you had been knocked out, and your wingman bloodied up. If you got out of there would you go back? Would you collect as many of your friends as you could and go back? If you say loaded said friends into your mini truck and saw 2 cop cars at your destination would you stop and get out, trying to restart the situation? Well non crazy wouldn’t. Dick did and the cops had to pull them aside and get them out of there. It was an eventful night.

My point is there is a point you can’t always reason with crazy. It’s just how it is.

But I am still dumb enough to try…

Yours in frustration..

James Burton